It has taken me a while, in fact a long time, to do it. But, I physically and emotionally, got rid of documents and the memories associated with them. I had held on, thinking that they might be useful one day. I now believe their usefulness bound me to those situations and people that were no longer in my life.

As a coach, I know how holding onto painful memories keeps one from moving forward. And I know how you and I can create our own stories as a defense. And yet, it happened. I languished over the details of the experience, even when it caused pain to do so, trying to make sense of it, and trying to understand why God allowed this to happen.

Why did it take me so long to “get over it”? Why couldn’t I move forward? I may never know the real answers; it’s complex. What I do believe is that my identity and self worth were tied up in how it “use to be”. This change challenged me in more ways than I ever thought possible. I prided myself on being independent and “in control” of my life. But I lost all control in a way I had never experienced before and suddenly I was in foreign territory.

I had to prove to myself that the “new me” was just as important and still had value. Once I experienced my life in the new reality, and I found my strengths , I needed to rid myself of that past. Once I did, the weight was lifted off my shoulders. Into the trash–all of it!

Each of us find ourselves facing new realities; some after painful situations and others after positive situations. Each of us will move through the change and transitions differently and at different speeds. The important thing is that I moved on. So can you.